Engaging // Being Engaged
“She said ‘Yes!’” “We’re engaged!” people say. With finality, and crisp clarity. As if now all details are sorted and happily ever after will be written in the stars.
Now that I’ve arrived to this cultural moment, the reduction of one of the most complex and hefty relationships in many people’s lives to such simplicity suddenly feels… inappropriate. Inadequate. As if asking someone to marry you and getting a single word response is all it takes to solidify a partnership that encompasses so so much.
I have a lot of feels, thoughts, and questions when it comes to marriage and weddings. What lies behind the words ‘I do’ from a cultural, religious, and historical lens? When did marriage become a core part of our social organizing and how has the practice evolved since then? What am I committing to — and how can Benya and I establish a shared understanding of our commitment in a way that feels grounding, steadfast, and with sufficient room for stretching our wings and being independent?
We’ve already had some really beautiful conversations by diving into this and I know there will be more to come. I intend to use the next year or so to sit with some of these questions and dialogue with community around them.
If you’d like to share your thoughts, join in a conversation, or hear more, let me know. We’ve already started sketching some collaborative ways to explore this territory — and we are certainly clear this partnerships is built on so much more than us.
